Missing You

Tonight was a sad night

I heard your voice

But I could not see your face

I saw everything but you

The sad reality is

That is all I have ever been able to see

You have been a shadow in the night where there is no light

A drop of water in the depths of the Ocean

Tonight I wondered yet again

What could have been?

Though to be honest I never really knew you

Never even saw you

You are as mysterious as the wind

The many nights that I have spent trying to figure you out have failed

You are what I will never know

A distant memory fast fading

A sad reality

A reminder of the summation of my past mistakes

You are that

And I still cry for closure to this sad reality

Tonight I wish to see you

Tonight I wish to experience your presence

Not for permanence

Just a moment of closure

I miss you… again

Spoiled Mess

I am a maze
What strange man I am
I seem to think I know what I want
Until what I want I get
Then I push it aside like a spoiled child

Please oh please my dear do not think less of me this time!
I so long to allow another to put themselves into my arms
I would rather know without a doubt it you before I say it is so

For you are like a dear gem
You are in fact unlike any other
Beautiful in your ways
As the masses have cast you aside I choose to stop and stare
How can I not?
Your life and conduct emulates that of one who knows the truth
One who is in fact the most rare

I do not approach with reservations about you
No, but reservations about myself

How can I be enough for someone as pure as you?
How can a broken mess such as me be worthy of something as clean as you?

Clear Sign

Hey it’s you…
I never thought I would say this but I really think it is you.
There are many that I have taken my time with
More or less wasted my time with
You however stand out as a gem from the rest

A rock in this turbulent tide of this Ocean of relationships
Here is a place I can build a life
Together we can build!

Am I right?
Or is the spark that I have sensed untrue?
Are the signals you have sent, are they the same like the many others I have given my energies?
Perhaps the reason we come become such good friends is because of what we are meant to be.

Will I ever muster the boldness to ask?
Will we ever know what we are meant to be?
And if I did muster the boldness, would you just lie like all the rest?
I stand here conflicted
Send me a clear sign before this moment passes
This may be our last chance.